the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
