my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
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He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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