is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
