So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
