I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
vagina is talking i cant
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
