I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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