I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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