Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
