Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
