If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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