She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
