Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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