The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
