How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize