Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
