I'm drive I can fine osifer
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
