In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
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Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
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He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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