Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
