You can't motorboat a personality
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
