loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
