I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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