You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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