I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
