you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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