therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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