how do flat chested girls get laid?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
