Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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