A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
