My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
