I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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