Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
