from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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