I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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