he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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