I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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