Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
