I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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