My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
this will be a night to untag.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
