last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
