CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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