i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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