idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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