yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
