Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize