So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
love makes seman taste better
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She's the barista slut.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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