That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
