All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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