it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
