I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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