Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
