Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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