she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
