i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
