Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
