I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
