we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I am available for nakedness
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
