All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
