My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
