you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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