Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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