You're completely useless in the revolution.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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