Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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