You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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