Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
