Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
